In the 2024 General Election, South Norfolk voted for their first Labour MP in almost eighty years: Ben Goldsborough. After growing up in Norfolk, Ben moved to north east Wales to find work. After a tenure as the Mayor of Flint, he has moved back down to serve us as our Member of Parliament. I wanted to find out what he was like: how does he feel as the first Labour MP of this constituency in decades? What are the issues he cares most about? And despite his already more than busy schedule, he was kind enough to meet with me to discuss it.

“It’s a huge honour.” Ben says. “I know there are huge numbers of people this time who tactically voted. That makes you very humble about the fact that you need to be an MP who works for everyone. There is no point going into this saying, ‘I won, isn’t that great?’ There were Liberal Democrat voters in Wymondham who lent me their support and I am so grateful to them. They wanted change and saw me – and Labour – as the best vehicle for it. I hope that mindset of humility will be helpful. Now the election’s done, I am everyone’s MP. Whether you voted for me or didn’t, I am trying to get the best outcome for everyone in South Norfolk. We also had a split vote on the political right for the first time ever, so those circumstances make you want to work doubly hard for everyone.”

“It’s a huge personal sacrifice to move from Flint back to South Norfolk,” I said. “Why the decision to make that much of a sacrifice?”

“I still have lots of family down here. I moved mainly because I couldn’t get onto the property ladder down here for love or money. (That’s why we need to talk about housing.) And even when I was based in Wales, I’d be back home about once a month visiting Mum and Dad. It’s never really felt like I’ve been away. I know about the issues on this patch because it’s the thing that [my parents and I] talked about over the phone calls or on the coffee table.

“The first ever Jobs and Apprenticeships Fair in Flint’s history was when I was mayor, and there were some amazing things we got to do, so those are the sort of things I’d want to do now I’m the South Norfolk MP. Working with Lotus, Wymondham High, the John Innes Centre – these sorts of things are when an MP come in.”

Now to the crucial question: “What were the specific things where you thought, ‘if I get elected, I can make a difference there?’”

“When I was knocking on doors, the thing that cut me to my core was just how many families there were with children with Special Educational Needs whose support services were failing. I had mums, dads, grandparents in tears to a stranger on their door saying, ‘I just don’t know where to turn.’ The first thing I did after being sworn into Parliament was go to the House of Commons Library and ask them to produce a report on Special Educational Services in Norfolk and Suffolk. Since then, I’ve tabled many written questions to the Education Department about Special Educational Needs services.

“An example of something needing changing is our truancy regulations. Neurodivergent children may need time off school. That is not “truancy”!

“The second issue is dentistry. We all know how bad things are in Norfolk. My dad, bless him; he was registered in Watton. His filling from the 70s went bad. He drove to Watton in agony. ‘I’m sorry, Sir, we’ve taken you off the NHS list. You can have it taken out but that’s the private bill.’ My dad has been a stable lad all his life; he had no money. You see that situation across Norfolk. Alice MacDonald from Norwich North managed to sit down with Wes Streeting on this issue – we’re working together to get that sorted.

“And to make a Top Three, another problem is the train station. We only have one train station. It’s Victorian. It’s beautiful. We are so lucky to have it. However, Platform 2 is an island platform for disabled people or parents with children in buggies. For example, if you’re coming in from Cambridge, you get off at Platform 1. Imagine you need to get to Platform 2 to get the East Midlands train to Liverpool. Disabled people or those with buggies are never going to be able to get from one platform to another in enough time. So the solution is a lift. I’ve seen it done in other stations and it can be done here.”

Ben then highlighted things the Labour Party has already implemented. “We are already setting in motion the free primary school breakfast clubs from our manifesto. Imagine the pressure that takes off families. Their kids are free in the mornings to go to work! People don’t realise that families are desperate to go to work. They love a hard day’s work for a good day’s reward. The system has had them working all hours God sends and still ending up on the breadline. It’s not people being ‘lazy’. We’re also rolling out our manifesto’s “Youth Hubs” with a mental health professional there. Imagine the pressure that takes off GPs, and the advantages of young people knowing there is a figure outside their families who they can turn to.”

Keir Starmer aptly said on This Morning that mistrust of politicians – words rather than deeds, etc. – is the “single biggest problem in politics at the moment. …It’s the actions we’ll take that will persuade people.” Sceptical readers may be thinking, “This from Ben is all well and good, but I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“I’ve been in for three weeks,” Ben said. “So far, I’ve been able to get three people compensation through the DWP for an error against them. I’ve been able to get someone compensation from the HMRC because the taxman made an error. Someone else was able to get their visa updated so they could remain in the UK (all their family was down here!). That was three weeks’ worth of work.”

Actions above words, indeed.

Ben then told me a bit about his work in the House of Commons. He was quick to say, “even with chamber work, when debating national issues, my questions and contributions will be locally based. For example, when the Deputy Prime Minister made her statement on housing, my question was about how Hethersett, Mulbarton and Loddon have all had their fingers burned because of bad planning being put in place. Houses are being built without the adequate services.”

He is certainly a South Norfolk man to his core. His eyes lit up when talking about South Norfolk community events. “Much of my work is the lovely stuff. The village fêtes. The community orchard outside Queen’s Hill Estate. Those are my weekends and my time to ‘switch off’. It’s meeting people and discussing things.”

“But that is still a full-time job,” I said. “Even when ‘switched off’, those conversations are still going to be relevant to what you’re doing during the week.”

“But it’s the best job in the world!” he said. “I love it. Of course there will be tough times and difficult decisions. But at the end of the day, you stand for the people who put a cross next to your name – and those who didn’t. It means something. It’s very special.”

I asked Ben about the current febrile nature of political discourse, and was relieved to hear he encourages bridges rather than barriers. “I have made a big point of saying hello to George Freeman [Mid Norfolk’s Tory MP]. We know each other. We recently had a meeting with the Norfolk and Waveney Integrated Care Board, which is cross-party. Some things go above and beyond party politics. Hopefully, we can be a bit more grown-up about things – although of course (as I stood on a red rosette) there will be things on which we completely disagree. As there should be.”

On that note, I wanted to end by finding out more about Ben the man, beyond Ben the politician. I gave him a set of questions: favourite and least favourite book, film of choice, song of choice, and person he would want to converse with if stranded on a desert island.

“The book I keep going back to is the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. It’s the one I go to if ever I need a picking up. By contrast, I have traumatic memories of studying a book in school called ‘Holes’. My film of choice is “Run, Lola, Run”: a very German, artsy film. The way my hippy German teacher taught us was to show us German films at the end of each term.

“My song of choice would be by Bruce Springsteen – I took my dad to a Bruce Springsteen concert for his birthday. Proper Father/Son bonding. “Youngstown” is my favourite.

“And the person to go down the pub with is Kathy Burke! She’d have me laughing my socks off by the end. A proper Eastender.

This is the lefty coming out in me again: where has Britain historically excelled? The arts! It is in the interests of our economy to never underestimate the value of the arts!”

Philip Yaxley’s article and photo in the February edition of the Wymondham Magazine about No. 11 Market Place, now the home of Kett’s Books, prompted a search to piece together the earlier history of one of the town’s most prominent buildings.

Robert Everett was born in Wymondham in 1744 into a Quaker family and married Elizabeth, a local girl from Diss in 1768. She died in 1775 leaving him with a daughter also named Elizabeth. Some while later he remarried to Sarah, and we know from his will, made in 1827, that he and Sarah were living in No.11 by then. Robert died in 1834 and is buried at the Wymondham Friends Burial Ground at Chapel Bell. Both his birth and death are recorded in the records of the Society of Friends. He was a wealthy man, having traded as a shopkeeper from what are now Nos. 9 & 10 Wymondham Market Place and currently occupied by Chips Away and the opticians, Cecil Amey.

Following Robert’s death, and having given in his will a life interest to his wife Sarah and after she died his sons Jonathan and Robert junior, his properties were put up for auction in several lots on 1st July 1836.

No 11 was described in the auction particulars as a “Mansion being in a commanding situation in the Market Place; most substantially built, and conveniently arranged for a large family, having extensive offices, with servants’ sleeping rooms over the same, stable, yard and garden, in the occupation of Mrs Everett.”

The property at that time was a square site bounded by Everett’s shop on one side and Fairland Street on the other. At the back was the rear passage leading to the Queen’s Head, as it is today. Intriguingly, the 1836 auction particulars include a comment, “Copyhold of the Manor of Wymondham Grishaugh, all that messuage copyhold, built, sometime two messuages situate in or near the Market Hill”. This perhaps indicates that the present house was built during Robert’s ownership on the site of those two properties or possibly incorporating some of their parts.

The property either did not sell or was withdrawn. It was offered for sale again on 18th May 1849 when No 11 sold for £400 to Mrs Sophia Ann Jones.

Sophia Ann Jones was the widow of the Rev. Daniel Jones who had been the Vicar of Wymondham from 1836 until his death in 1848. She lived there for the next 24 years with a couple of servants and sundry lodgers, dying at the goodly age of 75 years on the 7th of February 1872.

Mrs Jones was the sister of William Robert Clarke of Wattlefield Hall and Edward Palmer Clarke a prominent local solicitor living in Vicar Street. As a result of various wills and deaths, the property was inherited in 1872 by Julia de Roubigne Beevor Clarke, the widow of Edward Palmer Clarke, who promptly put it up for sale. The house was bought that year by Francis John Howlett, a solicitor.

Francis was born on 12th May 1836 and by the time of the 1841 Census, he was living with his parents on a farm at Bawburgh. 10 years later he was studying at a school in Upper Surrey Street, Norwich with 18 other boys. This was run by the Rev. John Perowne, Rector of St Johns Maddermarket in Norwich from 1835 to 1863. The education at his school must have been exceptional since three of Perowne’s sons followed him into the priesthood. John ended up as Bishop of Worcester, Thomas became Rector of Redenhall and an Archdeacon of Norwich and Edward (who was curate to his father at St John’s during Francis Howlett’s time there) became Master of Corpus Christi College, Cambridge, Vice-Chancellor of Cambridge University, and a Royal Chaplain.

On the 5th of January 1854, young Francis signed the Articles of Clerkship with Norwich Solicitor and former Mayor of Norwich, William Rackham. Unfortunately, Rackham died in October of that year and Francis would have needed a new principal, possibly one of Rackham’s younger partners. In 1859 he completed his articles and was admitted to the Roll of Solicitors. By the 1861 Census, he was living somewhere in Wymondham Market Place and unmarried. Business must have been doing well since in 1862 his young brother became articled to him, and he too must have prospered since he is recorded in1895 as a partner in a London firm and was Francis’s London Agent. By the 1871 Census, he was back with his parents at Hall Farm Bawburgh and still, at the age of 34, unmarried. In 1872, he completed the purchase of 11 Market Place.

In November 1875, the Norfolk News recorded Francis removing his office from Market Place to his newly built office in Fairland Street opposite Back Lane (Friarscroft Lane today) and a year later, he married Mary Jane Millburne in Bromley, Kent. Children soon followed and the 1881 census recorded him living there with Mary Jane and three children Frank (age 4), Julia (age 3) and Edward (age 2) as well as three staff. A fourth child, Emily followed a year later and a fifth, John in 1890.

Frank pursued an eminent career as an entomologist, eventually becoming an Imperial Pathological Entomologist in India. Julia married another solicitor, John Empson Toplis Pollard from Norwich who eventually took over the Wymondham business. Julia died in 1925 and John in 1953. Edward became a planter in India and died of malaria there in 1916. Emily sadly died in the influenza epidemic of 1892. Local photographer Henry Cushing was asked to take a photograph of the dead girl, a not-unusual custom of the time. John studied at Cambridge University & joined the 7th Norfolk Regiment in World War I where he saw action in France and Malaya. He became a Captain and was awarded the Military Cross. He survived and became a colonial official, dying in 1956.

Francis Howlett died in 1894 from the effects of a stroke, but the business carried on round the corner in Fairland Street. Two years after Francis’s death Kelly’s Directory lists Frederick Edward Groom trading as Howlett & Groom in Fairland Street so Francis must have taken Groom into partnership sometime before his death. By 1904, the firm had become Newton & Pollard. This was Frederick Hawkins Newton who had been practicing in Church Street since at least 1892 and John Empson Toplis Pollard who had qualified in 1887 married Francis’s daughter Julia in 1897 and been carrying on business in Norwich & Acle. Various partners came and went but the firm was still practising in Fairland Street in 1937.

Francis’s widow carried on living in 11 Market Place until at least 1911 and eventually died on 16th July 1922 at the home of her daughter Julia in Thorpe Road Norwich.

In 1924 the house was sold to William Salkeld Hall: an auctioneer and estate agent who had been trading in Watton and Wymondham since at least 1915. It remains in the Hall family ownership to this day and is currently leased to Kett’s Books.

In June, Wymondham Heritage Society republished “Wymondham in Words and Water Colours” by Anne and Adrian Hoare, in tribute to Anne who sadly passed away on 23rd December 2023.

Both Anne and Adrian were accomplished local historians and together they published over twenty books and pamphlets. Their first publication was in 1984 and called ‘In search of Robert Kett’, Other titles written by them include ‘Standing up to Hitler’, ‘An Unlikely Rebel: Robert Kett and the Norfolk Rising’, ‘On the Trail of Kett’s Rebellion in Norfolk’, ‘Looking Back at Damgate’, ‘Discovering Wymondham History along its Streets’, ‘When War came to Wymondham’ and ‘Wymondham: A Pleasant Place’.

Anne and Adrian’s final book together ‘Wymondham in Words and Water Colours’ originally came out during the lockdown and had a print run of just 40 copies which they gave to friends and family as Christmas gifts. In November 2023, Adrian suggested that the Heritage Society republish the book to raise funds, and after Anne died, the Society agreed it should be republished in her memory. The book includes Anne's drawings and paintings of Wymondham with captions and poems.

Anne had a love of drawing and painting, and friends eagerly looked forward to receiving their annual Christmas card. She turned local images into hand-painted cards. Many friends of theirs still treasure and display these cards. Anne and Adrian always worked together as a team with her doing the illustrations. They both read history at Hull University and this subject was central to their lives. Anne didn’t do much typing and Adrian was responsible for the word processing, page layout etc. Teamwork was the key for this marriage in so many ways.

Anne was the first in her family to go to university. There she met Adrian who was a few years older having completed national service. Anne first saw him at a meeting of the university’s history society, of which Adrian was president. Suffice to say that, suddenly, she found herself attending history society meetings more frequently!

When she was just age 21, Anne developed type 1 diabetes. To live with type 1 for more than 60 years is rare - so rare that in Anne's many hospital admissions in the last couple of years, some doctors often assumed she was type 2 - before she put them right! Anne managed to live a full life with it - but it was extremely hard for her. She had to inject herself with insulin four times a day, checking her blood sugar constantly. Never able to skip a meal, eat at an unconventional time, or do something impulsive or spontaneous.

They moved to Bedford in 1966 and took on new teaching posts. Diabetes carries particular risks during pregnancy and very sadly for Anne and Adrian, their first child, Katherine, died shortly after birth. Happily, Jonathan was born in 1971 but due to complications, he was moved to Great Ormond Street Hospital where he remained for six weeks. Anne would take the train from Bedford to London and back most days to visit him.

Anne and Adrian (and Jonathan) came to Wymondham in 1974 when Adrian took up a post at Wymondham College. Anne soon got involved in the local community. She was a volunteer at Morley play group and later became chair of Morley school’s governors.

Anne slowly became part of the social fabric of the college, first acting as a part-time matron, then, gradually, returning to part-time teaching; teaching History, English, and French - a Jack of all trades! She was key in organising the summer fair each year and eventually became deputy housemistress of Cavell Hall. She was later appointed Head of Special Educational Needs. She continued to take an interest in the children she helped long after they had left the school, delighted to see them thrive. Helping young people achieve their potential was very important to her. Many past pupils and colleagues remained in touch with Anne and Adrian and held them in high regard.

There was an American hospital on the school site during the Second World War. Anne’s passion for local history and research enabled the story of the hospital, which treated injured American airmen from 1942 and the post-D-Day landing casualties, to be told properly for the first time. Her research led to enduring friendships with the families of the American doctors and other staff from whom she gathered evidence. Today only one hut, which serves as the school chapel and a heritage centre remain. It includes information on the site’s history provided by Anne. With Adrian’s help she wrote a book about the hospital’s history. After they retired in 1994, they devoted more of their time to further historical research and soon became busier than ever. They kept in close contact with Wymondham College and were honoured with the joint presidency of the Old Wymondhamians. They also helped with the colleges’ anniversary book and heritage trail.

As active members of Wymondham Heritage Society, the Hoares began to produce a variety of local history books, which Anne illustrated in her instantly recognisable style. Anne designed many historical maps of the locality. She was asked to create a special heritage map of Wymondham, which raised funds from the sale of its limited edition (500 copies) for the museum. She loved the historic buildings of Wymondham and painted handmade greetings cards of these buildings, to be sold in the Wymondham Heritage Museum. Her artwork was also used on numerous tea towels sold to raise funds for the museum. Of course as well as all this they spent many hours at the museum working in reception, meeting visitors, creating annual displays, representing the museum at events and general administration. Adrian was chairman for 12 years and also organised the steward’s rota.

A group of retirees from Derbyshire visited Wymondham in 1996; Anne and Adrian took them to Norwich and gave them a guided tour of all the places in the city with Kett’s Rebellion connections, including Kett’s Heights. One member of the group Dorothy Whetnall sketched all the places they visited. Later these became beautiful watercolours, many of which feature in the main Kett’s display in the museum. Anne and Adrian kindly donated these loved works of art to the museum last year.

In May 2000 to commemorate the millennium Anne and Adrian organised ‘The Wymondham Story’; a walking trail around Wymondham with around 25 costumed characters telling the town's history. This led to the publication of a book in 2004: ‘The Wymondham Story - A Snapshot History of a Norfolk Market Town’, based upon the route and stories told in the event.

In 2007 their book ‘History along the Tiffey’ saw profits donated the Norfolk and Norwich Hospital.

Anne and Adrian were honoured in 2008 with the Wymondham Civic Award, in recognition of their work for the Wymondham Heritage Society, and other charitable organisations. Anne was particularly proud of this award. The late C J Sansom’s 2018 book ‘Tombland’, the seventh in the Shardlake series, was set in Norfolk and especially Norwich. Shardlake is sent to Norfolk to investigate a murder and he becomes embroiled in Kett’s Rebellion, When C J Sansom was researching the book he contacted Adrian and Anne and twice came to Wymondham to meet with them where they shared their knowledge of Kett and the Rebellion.

During the 2020 lockdown, Anne and Adrian needed a project to keep them busy. ‘Wymondham in Words and Water Colours’ was born. It is a reminder of their affection for the town where they had lived for over 40 years.

When Anne passed away, Adrian and Jonathan said “kind” was the word most often used to describe her. Others included “lovely smile”, “warm personality” and “friend of many”. Anne always thought of other people, whether it was being active in the patient supporters’ group at the Norfolk and Norwich hospital, the patients’ participation group in Wymondham, or the Wymondham diabetes group of which she was a founder member and Group Secretary, she wanted to help people. She was a great ambassador for Wymondham, embodied in her maps, drawings and books. Anne has left us with a significant legacy and will always be remembered with love by those who knew her.

‘Wymondham in Words and Water Colours’ by Anne and Adrian Hoare is available for sale from Wymondham Heritage Museum for just £4.95 a copy, and is also available from local bookshops.

In the mid-1970s, Brigadier P. Jermy-Gwyn showed me the blunderbuss actually used in the infamous Stanfield Hall murders.

On a November evening in 1848, Isaac Jermy and his son, the brigadier’s forebears, were shot dead by James Blomfield Rush, who also wounded the young Jermy’s wife and Eliza Chastney, a servant girl. Rush had bought Potash Farm, a mile to the east of Stanfield Hall, from Mr Jermy, his employer, on Jermy’s own mortgage. Rush subsequently fell into financial difficulties and in order to retrieve his position devised a plan, which involved the forgery of Jermy’s signature on certain documents – and wholesale murder. Rush approached the hall that evening disguised as an old woman armed with the blunderbuss on a footpath, which he had previously covered with straw to avoid detection of his footprints. However, he was found guilty at the Norwich Assizes in March 1849, mainly on the damning evidence of his mistress Emily Sandford to whom he had not fulfilled a promise of marriage.

Rush’s public execution took place on the bridge of Norwich Castle on Saturday 21st April 1849 and, with the trial having attracted country-wide interest, that Saturday morning people streamed into Norwich by tumbril, waggon and horse to witness the execution. Many came by rail and there was even an excursion by train from London. Some even came on foot and one woman, who had given birth only three weeks earlier, had walked fourteen miles to the city the previous night to be present. Bawling pedlars were on the streets selling printed sheets of ballads telling the story of Rush and his murderous deeds, while pie-sellers and the like provided the masses with food. The inns and taverns in the vicinity of the Castle were doing a roaring trade, while as much as £10 was paid for a seat at the east end of the Bell Hotel, where a first class view was to be had. Some spectators were on housetops, while others perched on the square tower of one of the city’s churches. It was estimated that the crowd numbered 12000-13000. Jermy was the Recorder of Norwich and President of the Norwich Union Life Insurance Society and while the insurance company’s staff normally worked on Saturday mornings then that Saturday they were given an extra morning’s leave to witness the execution of their president’s murderer. Awaiting the execution the motley crowd were in good humour – rather like today’s Carrow Road football crowds, but silence prevailed when Rush emerged from the castle to walk to the gallows.

And Charles Dickens, that most celebrated of Victorians, visited Stanfield a few weeks after the murders and commented that the hall had “a murderous look that seemed to invite crime”.

Recently, some of Ted’s friends in town have taken to calling him “Chelsea” because he was wearing a hat with the blue and white colours associated with that football team. To put the record straight, Ted is not a Chelsea supporter, he just wears that hat to keep his head warm.

However, from when he was 10 years old until he was 16 (1942-1948), he was involved with Wymondham Town FC. He and his best mates, Chicky and Wally, used to watch the matches at King’s Head Meadow and at Browick Road Park. They made new friends there including Pickie Morris and Sid Bann.

In those days, the star players were the Seaman brothers, David and Morris, and Harvey who worked at the Co-op, and the big derby match was against Attleborough.

Wymondham Town involved young people in the life of the club and, under the wings of a local primary school teacher, Mrs Barnicoat, found them jobs to do. Ted put out chairs for the fans and recalls that the price for the best seats was two shillings and sixpence.

Leslie Barnard, who ran a café, oversaw the tickets, and transported the team’s football kits in his Ford Popular motorcar. A 20-seat Simpsons bus ferried the players and the manager to the away games.

Naturally, the children took time to “muck about” as Ted puts it, with their own matches. They used the club’s equipment to draw white lines on the grass and make their own mini-pitches. Ted especially enjoyed dribbling the ball.

The football club also gave children insights into life after school (the leaving age was 14 in those days). Ted used to have conversations with the former ‘old boys’ at his school, Harvey Lever and Ernie Mann, to find out about the world of work. Indeed, he and his mates met future employers at the club such as local farmers and the fire brigade, who provided first aid cover for the matches.

Wymondham Town FC had a rich social life; there were parties, buffets, and Ted’s first social dances with girls. He learned to twirl them around at high speed and even to flip them upside down if they asked. And Ted still has his dance moves, so watch out ladies!

Jed put his empty pint glass on the bar and handed Debs five not so crisp notes.

‘Easy pickings,’ he said with a grin. ‘These tourists are so easily parted from their holiday cash! Now, the weather’s set fine for tomorrow so get yourself out there ready for the first boatload.’

‘What time Grandad?’ she asked as she counted the notes in her hand. Good money for a holiday job even if it was a bit of a strange one and boring as hell most of the time.

‘I’ll put out of here at 11 o'clock. Remember if I’m flying me red flag you go and hide; only come out if you can see me green’un.’

‘I know. Green for gullible. Red for right know-alls with binoculars.’

‘You got it gal. Now are you gonna buy your old granddad a pint?’ Jed whipped a fiver from Deb’s hand and waved his glass at the bar maid. The Mermaid was his local all year round. It was deserted apart from the locals for most of the year, but in the summer this small harbourside pub was always packed out with holiday makers.

It was one quiet winter evening last year that Jed had hatched his money making scheme. He’d had a few pints and as he left the pub he’d looked up at the pub sign swinging and creaking above his head. The painted mermaid, bosoms discreetly covered with seaweed, seemed to be talking to him. ‘Bring boatloads to Carr Point to see me,’ was what she said with a wink. So, Jed had painted his boat, renamed her The Fair Mermaid, painted Mermaid Boat trips signs, took leaflets to the hotels and B & B’s and then wondered who he could talk into being his beautiful mermaid. Debs was the obvious choice. She was seventeen, beautiful in the right sort of way and she was in need of money. It had been easy to persuade her to join in his plan.

Carr Point was a good half an hour’s sailing from the harbour, round to the next bay where a jagged range of granite stuck out into the Channel. Most boats kept well clear but Jed had a lifetime’s experience of these waters and besides he would stay far enough away from land so that those on board would only catch a distance glimpse of Debs the mermaid.

The next day he was at the harbourside touting for custom.

‘Boat trips to see the mermaid,’ he called out. ‘Get your tickets now to see the amazing mermaid.’ As usual the twenty places soon filled. Most were families with children eager to find something to occupy themselves before lunchtime. He hoisted the green flag – everyone on board looked as if they would believe what they saw – and set sail.

He could see Debs in position as he rounded the edge of the next bay. She had obviously clocked his green flag and had perched herself high on the rocks. Good girl. Now he could point her out to those on board.

‘Now ladies and gentlemen, I do believe you are in luck today. If you look over to your right hand side, on those rocks over there you will see the marvellous mermaid – a strange creature – the top half is of course a beautiful woman but look below and you will see her fishy tail. She comes to these rocks to comb her golden hair. Obligingly, as if on cue, Debs adjusted the seaweed to cover her white bikini top and then waved her green lycra legs to which was attached a bright green painted triangle of a tail. Jed’s boat was pitching and tossing so much that any attempts to take photos were doomed to failure. As Debs ran a comb through her hair it touched the metal frame of her sunglasses. Quickly she whipped them off her nose.

‘Mummy why is that mermaid lady wearing sunglasses?’ a little voice piped up.

‘I don’t know dear. Perhaps you better ask the Captain.’

Jed had to do some quick thinking.

‘Well son. Maybe she’s been to SpecSavers today. Look she’s waving to you. Are you going to wave back?’ The little lad waved politely and said no more.

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