Tuesday 2nd April 2024 and Wymondham Town Council once again met at the crucible of local democracy that is their £2 million Kett’s Park offices, for another battle of concentration, skill and judgment - with the occasional miscued effort thrown in for entertainment. Earpiece in, TCW settled down into his plush auditorium seat and tried his level best to stay awake throughout the whole thing.
So squeeze into your shiniest waistcoat, give your tip a good chalking and get practising your banana shots, it’s a Town Council Watch: Snooker Special.
But can TCW get a maximum break of 147* this month? *Complaints from councillors about this column that is.
Rerack
First to the table was an item for the Town Council to start doing something it already does (in theory at least). And that’s print a newsletter telling residents what they’ve been up to.
Recycling existing ideas and repackaging them must be part of the climate emergency strategy or something.
With a budget already set aside for newsletters and the new council even having printed one last year, it wasn’t overly clear why it needed re-suggesting. Cue Cllr Lucy Nixon (Lib Dem) to explain all:
“I believe that this council has a lot of positive news and useful information to get out. What I hope this newsletter will do is provide another way of getting through.”
Don’t know what they're worried about? Loads of people read Town Council Watch.
But one member of the public sensed the risk in letting politicians get on the old public typewriter at taxpayers’ expense:
“I’m all in favour of more information but wary it might just become a propaganda sheet for the standing party.” the man said.
Donning his umpire’s white gloves, the Town Clerk sought to reassure him about impartiality: “Having done the About Wymondham [newsletter] for 18 years…”
18 years? Crumbs. This new idea is old enough to vote.
“...there’s a fairly deep amount of experience in what we’ve put forward in the past.” “We don’t want to turn it into a political publication promoting one party over another.”
Labour members didn't seem particularly reassured:
"I think you've got potential for inadvertent bias clearly there with it." said Lowell ‘The Shovel’ Doheny (Lab).
Paul ‘The Organic Rocket’ Barrett (Green) knew a bloke down the pub who could produce the whole thing cheaper and greener than had been proposed.
Pukka.
Mayor Suzanne ‘The Fury’ Nuri-Nixon (Lib Dem) spoke in favour: “I want us to show the positive side of the decisions we make.”
Well that ought to save on ink at least. And a nice little cannon there for TCW into the top pocket on the way to 147 complaints.
The proposal was approved unanimously, meaning the council will now use the budget they already had for a newsletter, to produce a newsletter.
Phew. Glad they could get that one sorted.
Solo Game
Up next, Cllr Michael ‘The Chosen One’ Rosen (Lab) wanted to pocket some progress on the town centre improvement project, after the Town Council last month green lighted £250,000 towards a £950,000 joint investment with South Norfolk Council.
The council nominated one Green (Paul Barrett), one Yellow (Dave 'The Pockets' Roberts) and one Red (Todd "The Rod" Baker) to a new group to represent the Town Council on the project.
Geddit? Party colours. Snooker balls.
But voted against coming up with an ‘initial vision of what the Town Council would like to see included in the town centre regeneration project’:
Cllr Lucy ‘Blitzing’ Nixon wanted the public to provide the ideas “rather than the Town Council deciding what we think we should do in town.”
“I don’t think we can go out to the public with no idea at all what’s possible.” baulked Cllr Rosen. “Let's have a vote on it.” he continued. “If as a majority group, the Liberal Democrats choose to vote against this, then it’s up to you really.”
“Thanks for mentioning that again it’s the Liberal Democrats” sniffed the Mayor, reclining back and taking a sip of her Highland Spring.
Cllr Paul Barrett thought it should be “up to the public” and “we shouldn’t dictate anything.”
“I would absolutely agree with that” replied Cllr Rosen. “But, you know, we as a Town Council do need to have some views about what we think should be happening in the town. Otherwise what is the point of the Town Council?”
Well. Plenty of people have wondered that over the years.
The proposal to work constructively as a Town Council on an initial vision was voted down by all Lib Dems and Green (Paul Barrett).
Well. Snooker’s not a team game is it?
(Psychological) Safety Shots
Up next was a proposal that chalked up headlines in regional and national newspapers including: “Wymondham Wets” / “Britain’s most fragile council?” (EDP) and “Councillors ‘triggered’ by rows can leave meetings” (Telegraph).
The press can be so cruel.
Cllr Joe ‘The Flow’ Barrett (Green) had submitted a ‘psychological safety proposal’, which would give all councillors a red card to hold up, in order to excuse themselves from a meeting if their anxiety levels had peaked. This would allow them to go off to a separate room containing ‘water and mental health resources’.
"Every human being experiences anxiety in some way or another, if we're in a situation where we feel we can't escape or there's a lot of stress." he explained. "It doesn't have to be to do with anxiety or PTSD it could be that someone just needs to go to the toilet and they don't want to say that outloud."
Maybe make that one a yellow card? Or if it’s a, you know, you could have a brown car… Hmm. Actually don’t worry.
Nobody questioned whether it’s right that councillors who’d been out of the room could then return and vote on matters they hadn’t listened to the debate for.
Never mind. TCW's here in the commentary box with John Virgo for that.
But Cllr Nixon did worry about “the negative connotations of red cards.” “This proposal is not about being sent out of the room for bad behaviour.”
No. Although pop psychologists might wonder if that’s where the idea initially started.
The idea was amended to be holding up your name card instead and was unanimously approved.
This council will stop at nothing to deliver the real life, day-to-day benefits that people in town want to see.
Blue In The Face
Next, the council had a debate about how to have debates.
Cllrs Michael Rosen and Joe Barrett wanted to remove time limits on how long individual councillors could talk for. Last month the pair had both been invited to give it a rest by the meeting's chair when their speeches ran on for 5 and 8 minutes.
Where’s a red card when you need one eh?
“[The proposal] is to enable us to have debates rather than you know grandstanding speeches.” trumpeted the soundbite-friendly Mr Rosen. “We've all seen councils where they have grandstanding speeches haven't we?” he continued, while fellow councillors allowed themselves a silent snigger at the top levels of self awareness going on.
The council narrowly voted in favour of allowing more time where a disability warranted it.
Touching Balls
In the final frame, we just had time to hear from Wymondham Tennis Club. They had exciting news for fathers all over the town who are done having more kids:
“They are soon to be getting a ball recycling container. So members will be able to return their used balls and they will be repurposed… reused.” we heard.
See you down there lads...
