Good day one and all. You’re looking radiant. I hope you’re well. And welcome to this, a Town Council Watch: Civility and Respect special. Your continued readership is much valued and your kind feedback always gratefully received. Are you ready for the column to commence? You are? Delightful. Then let us begin.
There was no full council meeting in February to report on this month. The councillors had seemingly been so cordial to each other, in allowing their colleagues to go first at suggesting agenda items, that no one actually ended up submitting any ideas.
Exemplary behaviour.
And so it is that we resort pivot again to covering one of the Town Council’s committees instead. These smaller groups tackle more-detailed topics that don’t warrant the time and attention of all our honourable representatives at full council. So let’s respectively look back at the Leisure, Enterprise, Environment and Tourism committee from mid-January.
Unless you have a better idea? I'm open to suggestions.
Refrain From Name Calling
First up was a discussion item to gauge opinion on a suggestion to rename the Tourist Information Centre housed in the Market Cross as the “Town Information Centre”. This was an idea that had emerged at the “Bright Future” meetings between councillors, residents and businesses.
The committee quickly questioned the wisdom and expense of changing a universally accepted name, though Cllrs Penny Hubble (Con) and Kim Carsok (Con) acknowledged the spirit of the suggestion. The underused Market Cross contained information that was useful to residents and not just tourists. Councillors discussed how that fact could be communicated to people living here.
Then Cllr Robert Savage (Con) had some diplomatic input for the group to consider: “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a more bizarre suggestion coming from this council to be honest”, he respectfully chipped in.
It's heartening for an impertinent young cynic like Town Council Watch to see such good faith contributions from experienced councillors.
The committee’s stance on changing the name was clear enough not to require a vote. The current name stays.
Show Some King Respect
We then came to a discussion on what the Town Council should do as regards celebrations in the town for the coronation of King Charles III in May.
With reports that the sovereign is likely to favour a pared-back coronation, it's looking like His Majesty can look to Wymondham Town Council as something of a centre of excellence.
There would apparently be no budget for festivities flowing down from South Norfolk District Council. And Cllr Penny Hubble (Con) informed members that the usual fallback of Town Team volunteers were unable to organise any special event marking the occasion. She did however suggest the Town Council make small pots of money available to help residents plan small street parties themselves, like it had for last summer's jubilee.
Cllr Robert Savage sitting under a portrait of the Queen, quickly moved to stamp that idea out though. But not before quashing any suspicions he may be a closet Roundhead: “I'd like to start off and just state straight away that I'm a royalist. I’m a supporter of the monarchy.”
Why do you detect a "but" coming?
“But I’d just like to draw a distinction between Her Majesty the late Queen Elizabeth and King Charles”, he added, before talking about the longevity of the former’s reign and positive presence she’d been in people’s lives.
Yet of the record-breaking, longest-serving-ever former Prince of Wales of the last 64 years, Mr Savage had words of caution: “King Charles is a lesser known quantity at the moment.”
Fair point. I’d never even heard of this ‘Charles’ until last autumn.
“He’s started very well and I think he’s going to make a great king.”, continued Nicholas Witchell Cllr Savage.
Palace aides jumped up and punched the ceiling at the endorsement.
"I'm afraid - though I would obviously support King Charles III's coronation - I don't think this Town Council should get involved in any way shape or form in organising anything formally when it comes to the cost.”
God Save The King.
Cllr Kathryn Cross (Con) suggested at least putting up some bunting in the market place and potentially holding a special Saturday market after the coronation ceremony was finished. Maybe there could be some tables and chairs, and cakes.
Ah, that sounds nice…
“I'm intrigued to know where all these chairs and tables are coming from” scoffed the Clerk respectfully.
…No, not nice. IMPOSSIBLE.
“It’s just an idea” Cllr Cross murmured.
“Well an idea is fine but there needs to be some substance behind the idea, because the Town Council doesn't have chairs and tables they can suddenly put out in the market place!”, the Clerk scolded North Wymondham’s elected representative, civilly.
Cllr Cross must have forgotten to thank the paid full time staff member for fulfilling his role to provide impartial assistance in creating ideas and working constructively to implement them.
Dear oh dear. Where's her respect eh?
“Perhaps we invite [traders] each to supply a couple of tables for the market place, on the basis that they can sell takeaway items to be consumed on the market place”, Cllr Kim Carsok (Con) piped up.
A suggestion far too dangerous to be allowed to go unchallenged:
"Health and safety will not allow that!" interjected the Clerk.
"How is that different from the current state of people buying fish and chips and eating out in the market place every day?" enquired a bemused Cllr Carsok.
"What you've just intimated is that traders are taking coffee and cake into the market place, by setting up tables and allowing people to sit down and service them."
In the spirit of civility and respect, Town Council Watch would like to compliment the Clerk on his formidable imaginative powers as to what councillors were intimating.
"That is completely different to going to a fish and chip shop and taking it away", he continued.
Why yes it is. But then it was you that completely made up the bit about table service yourself wasn't it, erm, your grace?
A plan eventually came together to ask potential stallholders if they would be interested in a Saturday market to take place after the coronation service.
Slide remarks
The next item concerned a list that Cllr Carsok had requested, detailing all the council’s playgrounds and the installation dates of the play equipment in them. The item triggered a broader conversation on the upkeep of Town Council play spaces and how it's paid for.
Possibly sensing the list could lead to a future request to improve the listed playgrounds, Mayor Kevin Hurn (Con) had turned up to give his views during the meeting's public participation section.
Leaning into the microphone at the Town Council's new £2 million office building, which was paid for via a £60,000 a year 15-year loan and by raiding £711,000 of the council’s cash reserves, including budgets for play equipment, Mr Hurn said:
“In my opinion there isn't any money in the 2023-24 budget for such improvements."
An unavoidable situation really.
Then, referencing the council’s Community Infrastructure Levy (CIL) housebuilder revenue, which has since been used to plug the cemetery fund that was raided for £213,000 to build the new offices, he said:
"At the moment all the expected CIL receipts have been allocated to other projects for the next few years, so that may be something that would have to wait a little bit longer”.
Never mind. It's good for Wymondham's toddlers to have something to look forward to messing around on during their A-Level study leave.
We did hear the council’s crack plan for dealing with old and faulty play equipment though:
“If it is beyond repair and we haven’t got sufficient funds to replace a bit of equipment, it is simply decommissioned and taken out." the Clerk informed the room.
Job’s a good ‘un.
A line of enquiry from Cllr Carsok asked how playground upgrades had been funded in the past. The Clerk explained how the section 106 pre-cursor to CIL had previously been used for this, but pointed to future CIL already being allocated to town centre improvement. In a fit of respectfulness, he concluded: “You can't have your cake and eat it twice.”
Hear! Hear! We’d just heard how lethally dangerous takeaway cake is, after all. No one should be eating the stuff. Once, twice or otherwise.
"I'd just like to make a complaint.” said Cllr Penny Hubble: “I'm unhappy with the Clerk when he said that you can't have your cake and eat it twice. That's unnecessary."
Yeah but it spiced up this column. So, you know, swings and roundabouts.
Civil service
Last up was a discussion paper written by Ann Rostron of local environment group Greening Wymondham, which looked to find ways for volunteers and town council ground staff to work together constructively on maintaining green spaces around Wymondham.
How civilised.
Cllr Cross praised the work volunteers do to keep the town looking amazing, and the horticultural knowledge they bring, which the council’s own ground staff might not have.
Cllr Savage suggested those horticulturally-knowledgeable volunteers could help shape the maintenance plan for council staff to work to.
Cllr Hubble liked one element of the report in particular: "I think it's an awesome idea that we should look at other towns and other councils to see how they approach looking after their green spaces."
But she did wonder if the council could do an audit of all green spaces in the town, not just the ones it’s responsible for maintaining.
Enter self-starter, Cllr Peter Broome (Con) with his own solution. He told Ms Hubble that he’d previously just done similar such surveys himself in the past, rather than relying on paid staff to do it. A receptive Ms Hubble followed up on the suggestion and asked for tips on how to approach scouting out green spaces herself.
“I can't explain how to do it. You'll have to do it yourself. I mean you just have to go and find them.” Mr Broome courteously aided his colleague.
There you are then. If you see Cllr Hubble out and about with a sextant and a safari helmet on, you’ll know what she’s up to.
The committee decided a regular informal meeting of councillors and volunteers should take place to plan what to do next.
No word on any council staff members attending...
And with that, the evening’s civilised proceedings respectfully drew to a civil conclusion and the members carefully looked left and right as they crossed the road home eating their post-meeting takeaway cake.
