I don’t know about you, but to me, the world we now live in feels unrecognisable from the one I grew up in. Life seems to be changing at such a pace, I can hardly keep up! The rapid rise of social media has led to everyone being able to share their story, making sure their voice is heard and their point is made. Interrupting and shouting others down seems to have become acceptable behaviour on TV, radio interviews, and in life in general.

As someone working in the field of counselling for many years, I have noticed a subtle change of late. It now seems that in general, whilst everyone wants to be heard, there aren’t many people who are prepared to listen.

A big part of my counselling training was learning how to listen properly, making sure that the speaker feels truly heard and understood.

Listening is such a valuable gift to give someone. All it costs us is our time.

When someone is bereaved, they often want to talk about their loved one. They miss them and are in their thoughts constantly. They don’t want them to be forgotten, and talking about them can be one way of keeping their memory alive.

Many bereaved people report that people avoid mentioning their loved one in conversation. Perhaps they want to avoid causing further upset or don’t know what to say to make things better? The truth is, the bereaved person is already upset, and almost nothing anyone says can make things better!

Grief can also make some people feel very uncomfortable. Perhaps it reminds them of their own past bereavements? Or they prefer to avoid talking about messy emotions, preferring to keep the ‘stiff upper lip’?

Of course, some people prefer to grieve privately. We all have our own way of dealing with grief; there is no right or wrong way.

However, making time to listen to someone talk about their loved one and their bereavement can provide an outlet for grief, making them feel less lonely and isolated. It also demonstrates respect and helps to build stronger and more supportive relationships.

Perhaps we all need to slow down a bit, respect each other more and create some space to listen.

Rosedale’s bereavement support groups provide a safe, trusted place to talk about bereavement and be listened to. Call 01379 640 810 to reserve your free place in the next group.