I’m wise enough to know that the cold, wet month of January is the worst time to go on a radical diet. I just can’t bring myself to eat a cold salad when my body is begging me for warming comfort food!

Far better to start a new healthy eating and exercise regime when the days are longer and sunnier and to accept and learn to love what we’ve been given, whilst continuing to nurture our well-being, growth and development.

For many who are bereaved, the year may have changed, but the grief still remains. However, that doesn’t mean we have to remain stuck in the past and can’t still enjoy the life we have now. Practising self-care and putting some things in the diary to look forward to can be a way of developing hope and a forward-facing mindset.

We should not feel guilty about this. It does not mean we are forgetting our loved ones or leaving them behind. Rather, we continue to hold them close while also moving forward with life. We can grieve and fully live at the same time.

Guilt is not a helpful emotion and is often present for those who are grieving. It keeps us locked in a cycle of self-recrimination. We may ask ourselves, ‘Why did I say that?’ or ‘Why didn’t I do that?’

Often, when it comes to someone we love, we always wish we had done better. It is not helpful to blame ourselves for things that are only known with the benefit of hindsight.

Being human means we mess up and make mistakes. Punishing ourselves will not bring our loved ones back.

Practising acceptance and forgiveness is a much healthier approach. It frees us to stop fighting our circumstances and the things we cannot change. When we let go of the questions we may never know the answers to, we can freely live, making the best of what we have left.

This sentiment is summed up in the well-known Serenity Prayer often used in recovery programmes. Whether God is our ‘cup of tea’ or not, we can all acknowledge our need for more serenity, courage and wisdom:

‘God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.’

If you’ve recently had a bereavement (or at any time in the past) and would like to talk to others in a similar position, call 01379 640 810 to reserve your free place on our next bereavement group. Rosedale’s bereavement support groups are safe, confidential and local to Norfolk and Suffolk.

More information about support following a bereavement can also be found at rosedalefuneralhome.co.uk.