Along with many other strong emotions, anger can be something that those who are bereaved struggle to process. Anger can be felt in the body through physical symptoms such as tension headaches and tight, aching muscles and joints. We may feel irritable and lash out at those closest to us.

I am sure we can all recall being on the receiving end of someone’s anger and having no clue what we have done to deserve it! From time to time, we all experience strong feelings that we release at the wrong moment towards the wrong person.

Grieving is a complex, confusing process. One minute, we can feel desperately lonely, crying uncontrollably with sadness, the next, experiencing gut-wrenching feelings of rage.

We may feel angry at the unfairness of our loved one’s death and cheated out of a future we had planned. Many people feel angry towards the person who has died because they have been left behind to carry on without them. This can lead to feelings of guilt and shame for feeling this way. Anger often accompanies blame.

When we are grieving, it is important to be kind to ourselves. Anger suppressed or denied becomes internalised and can often lead to depression. Working through our anger is an important part of the grief process.

There are also practical things we can do to help release anger. One example is writing a letter to those we are angry with. We may often choose not to send it! People find it equally therapeutic to rip up such letters or burn them in the fire.

Physical activities can also help, such as running, walking, gardening, shouting in the shower or punching a pillow!

Writing about difficult feelings in a private journal can also be beneficial.

A state of acceptance is not easy to achieve, but it can be the way forward. Practising forgiveness and choosing to let go of anger is a daily process for many of us.

Another useful guide is knowing what we can and cannot control.

Things you can control include your actions, reactions, words, self-care, treatment of others, and decisions on how to live your life. Things you cannot control are unforeseen events like death or illness, wars, global unrest, other people’s behaviour, events that have already happened, and world injustice.

If you’ve been bereaved (recently or in the past) and would like to join one of Rosedale’s Bereavement Support Groups, please call 01379 640 810 to reserve your free place. All groups are free and confidential.